Ditching Resolution and Going for Happy: An Intentional Practice of Simple Delight

Ditching Resolution and Going for Happy: An Intentional Practice of Simple Delight



I officially ditched the New Year's resolution tradition last year. Who wants to sign up for commitment that holds an 88 percent failure rate, anyway? For 2014, I focused on a specific intention: to feel greater ease in my mind and body. As a somatic mindfulness professional, I know what ease and wellbeing feel like in my body, and I focused on spending more time feeling that way. It was radically simple and totally awesome.



The intention over resolution approach gave me mindful focus over the long haul, with enough wiggle room to feel like a playfully curious explorer along the way. It was a failure resistant plan that my recovering perfectionist could embrace, fueled by a set of informal mindfulness mico-practices that were so successful they will appear as a written collection later this year. My resolution break up resulted in a great new partnership of loosely held intention and specific, tangible tools.



So I'm sticking with a winner and holding a mindful intention again this year, and doubling down with a continued exploration of micro-practices; I've decided to go big and go happy for 2015. Fortunately, I've got some science on my side.



The scientific community got serious about happiness in 2007, when Sonja Lyubomirsky unveiled research suggesting that 40 percent of our happiness is determined by intentional activity; despite genetic predisposition and life circumstances, we can actually choose to be happy. Since then, the study of happiness has exploded, and everyone from the Dalai Lama to Mary Lou Rettin seems to have a recommendation on just what that intentional activity should be.



My personal experience with happiness is similar to my experience with feeling ease and wellbeing in my body: It's already there, it's always been there, and it's available at any moment in time. What's required is a practice that brings us back again and again. So my intention for greater happiness in the coming year will be supported by the exploration of a single micro-practice: the practice of simple delight.



The practice of simple delight involves the simple noticing of little things throughout the day that tickle my fancy -- the pink hue of a winter sunrise, the cool of my pillow when I roll over at night, the comforting sound of rain on the rooftop, the soul satisfying, thirst quenching delight of a single swig of cold beer. It's the ultimate, ready access, feel good moment.



What's great about the simple delight practice is that, over time, you actually become more inclined to practice. Unlike running, dieting and "shoulding" yourself into a new behavior, it feels good to notice the good, and the result is a deep, subtle impact on every corner of life. As Rick Hanson so eloquently describes in his work with neural plasticity and attraction thinking, by noticing the good, you actually change your brain to become increasingly inclined to notice the good more of the time. It's a self sustaining, upward spiral towards general happiness instead of a big stick slog towards a specific new behavior. Way more fun, right?



So consider a break from resolution this year and play with a few days of simple delight. No big agenda, no seriousness around embracing this or embodying that -- just noticing the little things that bring you a sense of lightness and appreciation. Like a little kid, keep it simple and start small -- perhaps two delights a day -- and notice what happens over the course of a week. The more you notice, the more there is to notice, and the better you feel every time you notice, yet again, something delightful.



Need more convincing that small moves mean big change? Check out this new book from Caroline L. Arnold on microresolutions and consider an intentional year of small delights.

2015, A Parent's DON'T List

2015, A Parent's DON'T List A new year. Countless opportunities to get more of what you want in life. Exciting thought, eh? So what do you really want? If you're the parent of a tween or teen, I'm guessing you might want a healthier relationship with your child. (For "healthier" substitute one or more of the following: more affectionate, more open, more harmonious, more fun.)



Easier said than done. Teens can be prickly. Biological speaking, they're already out the door on a quest for a future mate who will be found in their peer group, not hanging out with Mom or Dad. So your daughter and son are a bit distracted. Nothing you can do about that. But you can stop doing certain things that make you no fun to be with.



I've compiled a short list of the major complaints teens have about their parents' behavior. They'd like you to stop doing these things. I'm passing along the information for your own good. Change your ways and you're likely to have more of the closeness you want in 2015.



1. Yelling. Parenting can be chaotic and stressful. With everything on your plate, it's easy to get frustrated and overwhelmed. If yelling has become your go-to place, you need to stop. Lashing out at your kids and spouse pollutes your home and hurts your family. Without at least one healthy, effective stress-management tool, you're not fully equipped for your job and you will be much less loving and lovable parent. The easiest de-stressor I know is breathing. Breathing requires no gym membership or trendy clothes. It's free and always available. Yes, it's habit-forming, but in a very good way.

New Year's Goal: Stop yelling and start breathing. Your kids will give you less to yell about. Guaranteed.



2. Tuning out. Adults in general are always telling kids what to do and what to think. When kids take the bold step of opening up to us parents (because they need to ask questions and to be heard), we often aren't listening... not one hundred percent. When we are listening, we're often quick to interrupt and invalidate. ("You don't really feel that way.") Yet, we want our kids to stand up for themselves with their peers. How can they learn to do that if we never show an interest in what they have to say?

New Year's Goal: Stop tuning out and really start listening. Your kids will develop more self-confidence in their ability to communicate.



3. Rushing around. Every family needs down time when kids and adults hit the brakes, unplug from our devices, and reconnect with each other. Hopefully you all got some of that during the holidays. But what about next week and the week after? Most of us need down time every day. How about dinner? Research shows that kids whose families sit down and eat dinner together at least three times a week are more likely to do better in school, more likely to delay sexual activity, less likely to be overweight, and less likely to use alcohol or illegal drugs. They're even less likely to have friends who do drugs. Talk about a simple and delicious way to help your kids.

New Year's Goal: Stop rushing around. Have meals together. Your kids will look forward to touching base with you and restoring their sense of who they really are.



Happy New Year from my family to yours.

Breaking Down UFC 182

Breaking Down UFC 182 Five months after an impromptu, press-conference brawl, UFC light heavyweight champion Jon Jones and contender Daniel Cormier return to the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on January 3 (10 P.M. EST, Pay Per View), to finally settle their score at UFC 182.



With the 205-pound championship on the line, both Jones (20-1, 14-1 UFC) and Cormier (15-0, 4-0 UFC) will bring finely tuned game plans into the Octagon for one of the most anticipated bouts in UFC history.



Jones, who is fighting for the first time since UFC 172, enters the contest in the midst of an 11-fight win streak, the last seven of which have been part of his record-setting title-defense run. One of the most creative fighters in contemporary mixed martial arts, Jones combines a strong Greco-Roman wrestling base with a varied striking attack that includes spinning elbows, shoulder strikes and axe kicks. He also has an impressive submission game to complement his 84.5-inch reach.



For Cormier, it's all about wrestling, as the undefeated, two-time Olympian takes his first crack at UFC gold on the heels of four straight victories inside the Octagon. Making his first appearance since UFC 173, Cormier has looked sharp at 205 pounds after beginning his career at heavyweight, but he will face his most difficult test to date in Jones, a fighter far more accomplished than his previous opponents.



The story of the fight will likely come down to Cormier's ability to push forward inside of Jones' reach. And while the champion has the tools to keep Cormier at a distance, Jones will likely engage at close range, where his knees and elbows can do effective damage.



Ultimately, this contest will go the distance. And after 25 minutes of brutality, the UFC will crown a new light heavyweight champion, as Daniel Cormier grinds his way to victory on the strength of takedowns and ground-and-pound.



Co-main event: Donald Cerrone vs. Myles Jury



A perennial contender in the lightweight division, Cerrone (25-6 1 NC, 12-3 UFC) has never looked better, after stringing together five consecutive wins, four of which have come by way of submission or knockout. Cerrone now looks to advance up the 155-pound ladder, and a win over the undefeated Jury (15-0, 6-0 UFC) might be enough to secure a title shot in 2015.



Fighting out of San Diego's Alliance MMA, Jury is a versatile striker with solid wrestling and Jiu Jitsu. During his most recent performance, a first-round knockout of former Pride champion Takanori Gomi, Jury demonstrated improved boxing and a higher fight IQ. And against Cerrone, Jury will need to put together his best stuff to take the win.



Expect Jury to push forward to nullify Cerrone's Muay Thai, moving the fight to the cage wall. Jury will pressure and grind against the fence, but in the third round, Cerrone will come from behind to land the knockout kick.



Brad Tavares vs. Nate Marquardt



A battle of middleweights, this contest pits Marquardt (33-13-2, 11-6 UFC), an accomplished grappler, against Tavares (12-3, 7-3 UFC), who is known for exchanging heavy leather.



Marquardt, who returned to the 185-pound division in 2014 after two years at welterweight, is one of the more experienced athletes on the UFC roster, and a veteran of 15 years as a pro MMA fighter.



Tavares, a product of The Ultimate Fighter, has lost two straight and desperately needs a win to remain relevant and keep his job with the UFC.



Look for Tavares to come out swinging early and connect on some big punches. He may even knock Marquardt down, but eventually Tavares will leave a hole open on the ground and Marquardt will score the submission win.



Louis Gaudinot vs. Kyoji Horiguchi



An intriguing matchup at 125 pounds, this battle between Gaudinot (6-3 1 NC, 1-2 1 NC UFC) and Horiguchi (14-1, 3-0 UFC) could likely propel the winner into the flyweight top 10.



For Gaudinot, a win is crucial as his most recent victory against Phil Harris was overturned after failing a drug test. Horiguchi, who is undefeated inside the Octagon, is looking for his fourth straight win in the UFC, after earning a first-round TKO in his most recent outing.



Expect Gaudinot to come out swinging and look for a takedown, while Horiguchi counters and avoids grappling exchanges with takedown defense.



And, some time in the third round, look for Horiguchi to score the TKO.



Hector Lombard vs. Josh Burkman



It's been six years since Burkman (27-10, 5-5 UFC) last competed inside the Octagon, but after collecting nine victories outside the UFC, he makes his return against sixth-ranked Lombard (34-4-1 1 NC, 3-2 UFC), one of the most feared fighters in the welterweight division.



Coming off a dominant decision victory over Jake Shields at UFC 171, Lombard was forced from an August bout against Dong Hyun Kim, citing a herniated disc, and has waited for an opponent ever since.



Burkman appeared to be the only fighter willing to step in against the Cuban, a former Olympian in Judo, and while his return to the UFC is a feel good story of redemption and revival, he will not present much of a challenge for Lombard.



Expect Lombard to finish this fight early, becoming the first person to stop Burkman via TKO.

21st Century Parenthood: Newborns Are Useless, and Other Musings

21st Century Parenthood: Newborns Are Useless, and Other Musings I am writing this exactly 35 days, 4 hours and 51 minutes into my life as a father. I can attest to the experience being grand and challenging. Incredibly pure joy and intoxicating elation felt for the smallest moments shared, of smiles and stares (and silence). Incredibly trying sleep deprivation creating zombie-like states and hair-trigger moods for my wife and me.



Parenthood is a remarkable thing. I can think of no more significant change in life, other than perhaps the moment I exited my mother. We basically start life responsible for 0 people, and, under "normal" circumstances, slowly work our way up to responsibility for 1 person -- generally over 18-21 years, although certainly results may vary as to when responsibility for a full "1" is actually reached. Then we get married, and perhaps we're responsible for slightly more than 1. But when a child arrives, we are very firmly at a minimum of 2 people for whom we're responsible. I mean, human newborns are truly useless. The relative stage of cognitive development of a human newborn is literally less than half that of even the newborns of our genetic brethren, chimpanzees. I won't even mention that dolphins are born swimming and lions are running at 20 days old. So, clearly it's on the parent to get that baby through babyhood.



College was a fun evolution of freedom. Getting a job and paying all of my bills was satisfying. Marriage was not that crazy a change after cohabitation. But nothing really prepares us for having a child. Human gestation works pretty well in that 9 months is a reasonable amount of time to get ready. The mother's growing stomach is a reminder of things getting closer. Even if the baby comes prematurely and the parents hadn't painted the room or bought all the gear, it's tough to say that they never knew it was possible and were totally mentally unprepared. But no matter how prepared we are, the change is dramatic. It's paradoxical that for an individual -- particularly the majority of us who have not spent a ton of time around babies -- parenthood is a totally foreign experience. But for humanity, there is nothing more common. Literally, people are having this experience less than every quarter second. In the time it takes to read this article 10s of babies will be born and twice(ish) that number of parents created (or blessed with another child). So here is an experience that -- to me -- might as well have been a moon landing. But to the world, it is as common as breathing.



Such an experience lends itself well to the marketplace of ideas/series of tubes we know as the Internet. A totally foreign experience for the individual, but one in which billions of people can claim expertise by virtue of empirical knowledge. Having never searched for parenting information until recently, I can now attest that a good chunk of the server farms out there guzzling power are devoted to shelling out parenting advice to questioning newbies like yours truly. Handling this data deluge is an interesting new phenomenon of the 21st century life. There are the "experts" like the tried and true WebMd and it's growing assortment of top 12 lists, or one-stop clearing house BabyCenter (a J&J company -did someone say synergies?!?). Then there are the blogs -- from Free Range, to Scary, to Feminist to Blacktating -- which though seemingly no longer updated wins a mention for its awesome name.



My experience perusing many of these sites is that if I click on 100 links, I'll get 150 answers to the same question. So, I really end up kind of in the same place I started -- which is generally knowing the answer to my question, but looking for validation (or ammunition for why my view is more correct than that of my spouse) -- but with an hour of my life spent down the clicking rabbit hole. I won't even mention medical journals and peer-reviewed articles -- the deep cuts of parenting advice.



What I find from my experience and that of friends is that parents end up taking advice mostly based on writing style. "Oh, I like how this person says it." Or, "Oh, that is so me." Given the info overload, we really just end up choosing the voice we like to hear. I imagine there are people out there saying, "This mother blogger has a MD in Pediatric Oncology, but I really don't like how Dr. Know-It-All regularly skips the Oxford comma. Apparently they didn't cover that in her 12 years of medical school. But this other woman is so sassy, she's got attitude and I love her unpretentious tweet style. Plus she's had 6 children. @dedbeetmom89 must know her stuff." I wonder if back in the day parents ever sent their sons to go bullfight based on their love of Hemingway's economy of words. That'll make junior into a man.



My household's current blog of choice is Lucie's List. Why does my wife love it? I think part of it is because we have a dear friend named Lucie (unrelated to the list). My wife would argue that the blog's insights have been good and her assessments frank. But I think the writing voice, and website design, have made all the difference. And the technology -- the email subscription hits my wife's inbox without fail and always contains humor and a worthwhile note. In this way, the 21st century world is likely similar to the old -- s/he who gets the message out best will win, not necessarily s/he who has the most scientific content. Me, I personally support the blog because Lucie's mom has a degree from my alma mater, the University of Florida. Seems like a qualified parenting expert to me.



Want to share your own sound parenting advice, musings or questions? Email me at 21stCenturyParenthood@gmail.com.

10 Telling Numbers About America's Faith And Values In 2014

10 Telling Numbers About America's Faith And Values In 2014 (RNS) Scores of studies and surveys in 2014 revealed myriad, quirky ways we live out our faith and values. But the most intriguing findings were not always the headliners. Here are 10 telling numbers about religion and society that caught our eye.



* One in 3 Americans want a divorce between clergy and civil marriages. They say it’s time for clergy to quit saying “By the power vested in me by the state … ”



* Suck it up, polar bear. Just 5 percent of Americans say climate change is their top issue, and religion is a major marker of divided views. White evangelical Protestants were the least likely to believe that climate change is a fact and that human activity is among the causes.



* Amen to online. Almost half of U.S. adults (46 percent) say they saw someone sharing “something about their faith” on the Internet in the last week.



* Fifty percent of white evangelicals see themselves as victims of significant discrimination.



* One in 4 millennials who grew up in a religion but now claim none say that an important reason for leaving was their childhood church’s negative teachings or treatment of LGBT people.



* Choral laments. Since 1998, there has been a 23 percentage point drop among white conservative evangelicals who heard a choir at worship and a 28 percentage point drop for members of liberal and moderate Protestant congregations.



* No atheist in-laws. Nearly half of Americans (49 percent) would be unhappy with an unbeliever joining the family, but just 19 percent would gripe about a gun owner.



* Grads, leave religion off your resume. New grads hunting for jobs can be 24 to 30 percent less likely to hear back from potential employers if they included a mention of religious ties in college on their resume.



* You skipped church and then fibbed about attending. Nearly 1 in 7 falsely claimed they attended a religious service.



* Religion survey babble confuses 103 percent of readers. Here’s why. OK, the 103 percent is made up, but the point of this piece was to bring a discerning eye to news stories packed with numbers and help readers better understand statistics stories like this one.

Bethenny Frankel Rocks A Bikini While In Miami With Boyfriend Michael Cerussi

Bethenny Frankel Rocks A Bikini While In Miami With Boyfriend Michael Cerussi Bikini'd love!



Bethenny Frankel was spotted taking a dip with her boyfriend Michael Cerussi in Miami on Wednesday. Frankel rocked a tiny green bikini and a gold body chain as the pair enjoyed some beach time on New Year's Eve.















The 44-year-old is currently on vacation with Cerussi and her daughter with estranged husband Jason Hoppy. She took to Twitter to share her thoughts on the end of 2014:

NYE day & i'm exactly where i want to be with exactly who I want to be with.

— Bethenny Frankel (@Bethenny) December 31, 2014

Frankel is taking a break from filming her big return on the new season of "Real Housewives of New York City."



"I'm genuinely excited, with a side of slightly nervous, for my return to 'The Real Housewives of New York City,'" Frankel said in the statement. "Bravo has always been the place on television where I have the freedom to be unfiltered, honest and inappropriate, with an audience who has been with me from the beginning. I can't wait to see what this next chapter brings for all of us. Watch what happens!"

Out with 2014, in With 2015, and Up With People

Out with 2014, in With 2015, and Up With People We've made progress this year -- raising the minimum wage in dozens of states and cities, providing equal marriage rights in a majority of states, limiting carbon emissions. But there's far more to do.



The economy looks like it's improving but most Americans are still stuck in recession, and almost all the economic gains are still going to the top. The only way we can have an economy that works for the many, not the few, is to get big money out of politics -- so the rules of the economic game aren't biased in favor of big corporations, Wall Street, and the rich. And to get more people fighting for equal opportunity and shared prosperity.



But many Americans have become so cynical about politics they no longer even bother to vote. Turnout in the 2014 midterm elections was the lowest in decades. This is exactly what the moneyed interests want. If we give up on politics we give up on democracy, and they can take over all of it.



Never underestimate what we can, and will, accomplish together. Organizing. Mobilizing. Energizing. Making a ruckus.



Here's to your and yours for a great 2015.

3 Steps to Improving Your New Year's Resolutions

3 Steps to Improving Your New Year's Resolutions Do New Year's resolutions work?



Yes! If you do!



Resolving to do something for the new year doesn't mean that you post it on Facebook, tell all your buddies or girlfriends and then promptly forget about it once Jan. 2 hits.



You must resolve to make this New Year's resolution into a changed behavior.



There's a huge difference between the things you do every day, every single day, and the things you do only when you are inspired.



You will find that once you've committed to doing something daily, the inspiration comes, but only after you discipline yourself to do what you are supposed to do.



I've found that in my life most change came out of desperation NOT inspiration. I was desperate for a change, I made the change and then BOOM, I was inspired.



3 Steps to Improved New Years Resolutions



1. Write down what you want to achieve this year. Yes, writing it down is more powerful then just spouting it out.



2. Put a plan down in writing on what you need to do to achieve your desired outcome in the new year.



3. Schedule it. Yes, open your calendar and schedule when you are going to do what you have resolved to do. Goals are just dreams until written down and scheduled.



I know this sounds simplistic. Because it is.



BUT...



It isn't easy. If it were easy everyone would achieve all the "said" they wanted to do in the new year.



Since you are reading this, my guess is you are a doer and not just a talker, so take out your note pad and your calendar right now and get to work on making 2105 your most accomplished and fulfilling year yet!!!

Whether for Life or for One Year, Banning Gay Blood Donation Is Bad Science

Whether for Life or for One Year, Banning Gay Blood Donation Is Bad Science Just before Christmas, the FDA accepted the recommendation of a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services panel and announced that it would modify its ban on blood donations from gay and bisexual men. Instead of barring such men from donation for life, as the policy had done up to that point, the FDA will now accept blood from gay and bisexual men who have been celibate for at least one year.



While this shift represents nominally better policy, it preserves the ban's core problem: the fact that the FDA is targeting a high-risk group (men who have sex with men) instead of high-risk behavior (unprotected sex, especially unprotected receptive anal sex, with multiple partners -- regardless of the gender of those involved). Not only is the ban unjust, but statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) also indicate that the policy is scientifically baseless.



The FDA's blood-donation guidelines apply to questionnaires used by the Red Cross and other blood-collection agencies. Prospective donors respond to survey questions that ask about their travel history, drug usage, and other risk factors associated with disease transmission. People with certain responses are asked to disqualify themselves from donation.



Because it highlights activities that increase the risk of disease, this practice should function as an important educational tool. But by suggesting that gay and bisexual men are at risk and straight people aren't, the FDA's guidelines misinform the public. To the extent that it contributes to ignorance of the risks associated with certain types of heterosexual sex, the FDA's policy, even in its revised form, actually presents a public-health concern.



The FDA's insistence on outdated, unscientific guidelines for blood-donor deferral also undermines its credibility more generally. Diminished credibility could have significant ramifications; for example, it may be harder to debunk the myth that vaccinations cause autism without high levels of public confidence in the FDA. Most of the FDA's recommendations about food and drug safety are surely legitimate, but critics of these recommendations can now point to a clear instance -- blood-donor-eligibility criteria -- in which the organization has disregarded the facts.



Some people might contend that the one-year ban is an improvement, albeit a very small one, over the lifetime ban. As minimal progress can be considered better than no progress at all, this argument isn't necessarily wrong. But organizations also sometimes adopt nominally better policy to pacify opposition and avert or postpone more sweeping changes.



Regardless of the FDA's motives in this case, their policy remains backwards. In addition to inappropriately stigmatizing gay and bisexual men, the blood ban spreads misinformation about public health and harms the FDA's credibility. It is therefore imperative that activists apply pressure until the FDA embraces science and adopts the focus on actual high-risk behavior that has worked in Italy for the past 13 years.

High-Tech for Brain Training: Top 12 News in 2014

High-Tech for Brain Training: Top 12 News in 2014 Unless you live in a cave, you are well aware of all the growing interest in, and controversies around, the topic of brain training, especially whether technology can enhance -- or hinder -- our brain health and cognitive performance.








A little perspective may help separate the signal from the noise. Take a minute to think about the early years of the physical fitness movement. It took decades of conflicting research and confusing media coverage to finally spread the idea that daily life activities are far from sufficient to keep us physically fit. And, at the same time, to develop the exercise protocols, the validated assessments, the professional standards and bodies, and the overall infrastructure to support the emerging "being fit" aspiration. From those humble beginnings, health club memberships in 2014 amounted to $78+ billion dollars in annual revenues.



Same as with physical fitness, maintaining if not enhancing brain fitness requires a holistic approach which includes mental novelty, variety and targeted challenge. Our routine-driven daily mental activities are simply not enough. One can achieve this in multiple ways: learning and practicing a new language, mastering meditation, rotating through complex professional assignments, volunteering to run a hiking or cycling club... and, also, understanding, navigating and using the emerging technology-enabled brain fitness toolkit at our disposal.







Check this out: 83 percent of surveyed early-adopters agree that "adults of all ages should take charge of their own brain fitness, without waiting for their doctors to tell them to" and say that they "would personally take a brief assessment every year as an annual mental check-up."



Here are some of the most important brain training news in 2014, covering research, assessment and training trends. They hint at the drivers fueling growth and shaping up the emerging landscape. Hopefully, in relatively short notice, we will all benefit from a brain fitness/ brain training field as proven and valuable as the physical fitness field is today.

• In January: Rosetta Stone completes acquisition of Fit Brains creator Vivity Labs, entering fast-growing brain-training market


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• In April: Groundbreaking online registry at UCSF to drive brain disease research


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• In May: Baycrest memory experts launch "thermometer" for the mind


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• In June: Feeding the brain's curiosity helps delay Alzheimer's, study says


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• In August: InteraXon teams up with Reebok & Gaiam to bring biometrics-based meditation to the masses


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• In October: Thync gets $13 million to send electric currents to your brain


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• In October: Brain-training companies get advice from some academics, criticism from others


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• In October: AnthroTronix receives FDA clearance for brain health assessment tool


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• In October: 200+ experts in 16 countries gather around a virtual table to discuss and shape brain health innovation


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• In November: Frontiers in Human Neuroscience completes research series on effects of game and game-like training on neurocognitive plasticity


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• In December: Apple names brain training apps "Best of 2014″ in 20+ countries


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• In December: 127 scientists challenge the purported brain training "consensus" released by the Stanford Center for Longevity

As you can see, there's much going on, and much to look for in the near future.



Have a great 2015!

Stage Door: Disenchanted

Stage Door: Disenchanted



Imagine Belle in a straightjacket, Rapunzel as a German dominatrix and Snow White as a sassy, wisecracking ringleader of dissatisfied princesses. That, and more, comprise the musical Disenchanted , now slinging its saucy satire off-Broadway at the Theater at St. Clement's.



A drunken Little Mermaid belts she'd "gladly dump my six-inch heels to jump back in with the Moray eels," as her princess brethren bemoan how being sexualized -- like porn stars -- and trivialized, creates "The Princess Complex."



And the audience, especially millennials who grew up on this Disneyfied slop bucket of female passivity and rescue fantasies, get the message.



Funny and a touch wicked, the book, lyrics and music by Dennis T. Giacino zings the banality of "happily ever after." The five princesses Lulu Picart, Becky Gulsvig, Michelle Knight, Jen Bechter, Soara-Joye Ross and Alison Burns take on the myths of fairy-tale princesses, the dopey expectations of their lives -- Belle of Beauty and the Beast is forced to talk to dishware -- while Pocahontas is distorted beyond all historic proportions.



Disenchanted rails against the damsel-in-distress tropes, sent up by subversively zinging any of the movies that celebrate the stereotype. From Cinderella's goofy demeanor to Sleeping Beauty's gusto, the show re-images these women as proto feminists happy to take a swing at the Brothers Grimm.



Disenchanted is performed as a series of skits, rather than a conventional narrative. In addition to the digs at the stories, which only validate women who are "beauty-obsessed, ditzy and insecure," it takes on the politics of color. Soara-Joye Ross is an African-American who, as the princess who kissed the frog, neatly gets her own licks in.



Michelle Knight as Snow White is a perfect host for the evening; she's got a strong voice (as does the cast) and corrals her flock with humorous in-your-face numbers. Another standout is Alison Burns as Belle/Rapunzel and a redneck Little Mermaid -- yet all the women do their characters proud.



While the show's pop score delivers, there are a few script groaners, such as the "All I Want To Do Is Eat" number, in an otherwise clever production. But in the main, director Fiely A. Matias rounds up a talented crew and stages the lively songs to great comic effect.



Photo: Matthew Murphy

Cuba: A New Year's Present

Cuba: A New Year's Present When I joined UPI in 1953, we were servicing two Cuban television stations and Cuba was still ruled by Fulgencio Batista, a former army sergeant who had seized power in 1933. By 1956, he was partnering with the mob, including Meyer Lansky and Lucky Luciano who ran narcotics, gambling and most importantly the gambling casinos in Havana.



Batista had also made a fortune from payoffs by major American companies who provided Cubans with services ranging from telephone calls to electricity.



On January 1, 1959, and I, as a new-boy, was working on the desk at UP/Movietone, when we got word that Batista was fleeing Havana. Then I called my boss, Bill Higginbotham, to ask him what to do. He laughed and told me not to worry: Movietone's cameraman had fled the country with Batista and was arriving in Florida with film of Batista's departure. The film came in that afternoon, we developed it, cut it and shipped it the same day and beat the rest of the world on the story.



Shortly thereafter, Castro and his guerrillas arrived in Havana and took over the government. Charley Schuman, a UPI reporter and cameraman, who had just returned from covering Castro, called him and asked if this success was a Communist revolution. Castro said no -- "Ours is a special kind of revolution. It is political, not social. It is not a revolution of class against class, but of all social classes against the government -- against a small army group." Castro emphatically denied that their revolution "has anything to do with Communism." Nevertheless, over the course of the next year, he nationalized all of Cuba's private companies, including American corporations. He also confiscated real estate and other assets that had been acquired by American citizens.



When John F. Kennedy became president, one of the first things he did, according to a friend of mine who had joined the Treasury Department in a relatively high position, was offer Castro a deal -- if Castro would repay American citizens and corporations for the assets that had been acquired "legally" (no payoffs to anyone), the United States would recognize the Cuban government.



Kennedy knew that most of the assets had been acquired through graft and payoffs to various Cuban officials; Castro would probably have had to make very few payments to Americans. Nevertheless, according to my source, Castro refused and on April 17, 1961, the U.S. invaded Cuba -- the "Bay of Pigs" ended in disaster and fifty-four years of mutual hostility survived.



On November 30, 1961, President Kennedy launched Operation Mongoose whose major task was the assassination of Castro and the CIA.



In October '62, Americans took to their bomb shelters as the Cuban Missile Crisis threatened mutual destruction of all involved: Cubans, Americans and Russians.



In 1963, the Kennedy brothers were still attempting to assassinate Castro. Working with the Mafia, the CIA developed plans ranging from planting a box of explosive cigars to exposing him to poisoned pens, or even poisoned ice cream.



Somehow Castro managed to survive it all and has lived to see another American president recognize a Cuba that is still ruled by the Castro brothers. January 1 marks the fifty-sixth anniversary of Battista's overthrow and is a holiday that can now be celebrated by Cubans and Americans alike.

The Rise of Anti-Government Protests Around the World and How to Reduce It in 2015

The Rise of Anti-Government Protests Around the World and How to Reduce It in 2015 In recent years, citizens so frustrated with their governments slapped their elected officials (e.g. in Nepal and India), set themselves on fire outside state offices (e.g. Tunisia, Greece), launched mass protests against specific policies (e.g. Chile, Portugal, UK) and brought down entire regimes (e.g. MENA). 2014 was not remarkably different. This year we witnessed similar anti-government sentiment expressed in some form all over the world -- from the recent pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong, to the inflation-triggered backlash against President Nicolas Maduro in Venezuela and the Euromaidan protests that brought down President Viktor Yanukoyvch in Ukraine, to recurring anti-austerity protests in various countries in the EU.



What does this all mean? What we've been witnessing is the decline of state-society relations in which citizens no longer believe in their leaders, governments or certain policies -- and they are speaking out in violent and non-violent ways. There's a recurring feeling that there must be a better, more legitimate way to govern. Technology has just made it that much easier to keep tabs on government and to mobilize more citizens more quickly to respond. This means even if policies are in place that can actually help, the ongoing legitimacy crisis won't necessarily allow for policies to deliver the intended result. After all, to a certain extent, policies do need support of the citizenry to move forward.



Will this continue in 2015? Of course it will. Russia is heading for recession which means we will see anti-Putin protests resurface until the economy finds its footing. Myanmar's fall election is not expected to allow democracy icon Aung San Suu Kyi to run, which means the pro-democracy movement will grow. The EU countries will not suddenly move away from austerity policies, which means citizens will continue to protest, notably in Greece, Belgium and Spain. We can expect some kind of protest, especially from Tamil and Muslim minority groups, if President Mahinda Rajapaksa manages to win the election in January in Sri Lanka, given concern over his autocratic ways. Leaders and citizens are going to continue to disconnect all over the world.



Is there a way to reduce such anti-government protest to improve state-society relations? The simplest solution, but also the toughest, is to make governance more inclusive. And crowdsourcing -- i.e. using the wisdom of a crowd of citizens to make policy -- could be one way to achieve this. This technological approach to domestic policymaking was attempted in Iceland with its constitution -- over 50 percent of the population offered their views through Facebook and Twitter. It didn't quite work out the way we hoped, but it's a start. It did, however, work in Finland with the passage of a new law -- yes, it was just an off-road traffic law in a relatively stable country, but the point is it worked. Let's put some academics and PhD researchers to work to study what worked there before we apply it to policymaking in other countries where tensions between government and citizens are notably high. Crowdsourcing could be an innovative way to start to rebuild the relationship between state and society, policymakers and citizens in 2015.



Yes, this will be a hard sell in most countries -- why would ruling elites want to make policymaking more inclusive? This would take away from their own power. And obviously this wouldn't work in a country like Russia where there are no immediate plans to democratize and protests can be quashed rather quickly. But it could be a useful tool in newly democratic states like Myanmar and Sri Lanka where minority religious groups still feel disconnected from a majoritarian government. It could also be a useful tool in countries where citizens have singled out one policy they feel doesn't work -- think of austerity policies in EU countries. If we ask Muslim minorities in Myanmar and Sri Lanka or austerity protesters in Greece and Spain for their input on specific policies, would that help reduce anti-government sentiment and so help leaders to govern? No question, it's worth looking into even if there are sensitivities surrounding this.



But even if it is attempted, who will implement it? If individual governments can't manage it, the UN is a logical back-up, given their recent focus on this technology to do everything from assessing damage caused by the typhoon in the Philippines to generating anti-poverty goals from youth in the next development agenda and overcoming language barriers with refugees globally. There's lots to figure out. But it could potentially be a small way for us to repair the fragile relationship between governments and citizens so leaders can more effectively govern. It could be the first step to pulling us out of this collective legitimacy crisis in countries worldwide. If not, we can only expect more politicians will get slapped, more citizens will rally against specific policies and more protesters will get violent to bring down their leaders in 2015.

5 Religious Guinness World Records Smashed In 2014

5 Religious Guinness World Records Smashed In 2014 (RNS) Some churches conduct pageants. Some temples host dinners. And others spend weeks or months meticulously planning how to break a Guinness World Record.



Sure, 2014 was the year that records were beaten for “Fastest marathon wearing chain mail (upper body)” and “Most sticky notes on the body in five minutes.” But several faith-based Guinness World Records were set over the course of the year as well. Here are five that were smashed in 2014:



1. Most living figures in a Nativity scene
More than 1,000 angels, shepherds and worshippers — along with the requisite camel, donkey, sheep and tiny baby Jesus — joined together in Provo, Utah, to set a record for the most living figures in a Nativity scene. The event’s 1,039 participants breaks the previous record of 898, set in the United Kingdom in 2013. Want to see it in action? Check out this time-lapse, and this “Angels We Have Heard on High” #ShareTheGift video created during the event, with music provided by the Piano Guys, Peter Hollens, David Archuleta and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.







2. Largest gospel choir
Not one, but two, Guinness World Records were set when the Iglesia ni Cristo (Church of Christ) hosted its centennial celebration on July 27, 2014, in the Philippines: largest gospel choir and largest mixed-use indoor theater. It took 4,745 participants singing hymns together in tidy, white sections in a 55,000-seat stadium to break the record once set in February 2014 in New Jersey by the current and former athletes who make up the NFL Players Choir.



3. Most people reading aloud simultaneously (single location)
You would need to gather nearly 47,000 to break the record for most people reading aloud simultaneously (single location), set at the Vadakkunnathan Temple in Thrissur, India, in February this year and organized by the Art of the Living Foundation. Participants recited, in unison, a Hindu devotional poem called “Jnanappana” by the famous Lord Krishna devotee Poonthanam.



4. Largest Day of the Dead offering
Traditional celebrations for Mexico’s Day of the Dead holiday involve constructing altars at gravesides to honor loved ones who have died. This October, an altar unveiled at the Fiesta Cala de Veras in Mexico City measured 558 meters square, creating the first Guinness World Record for largest Day of the Dead offering.



5. Largest potluck party
Aunt Helen’s annual covered-dish dinner has nothing on Chandler Christian Church’s record-setting potluck party, held on April 6, 2014. Approximately 1,275 people attended the event at the Arizona church, breaking the previous record of 860.



Sad that your church or temple didn’t gain fame through a Guinness World Record this year? Fear not, there are plenty of records ready for the breaking in 2015. Try these on for size:



1. Largest wearable turban
Not for the faint of heart (or necks): To beat this record, your turban will need to be longer than 400 meters when unraveled and weigh more than 77 pounds.



2. Most dreidels spinning simultaneously
You’ve got almost a full year to practice for this Hanukkah-inspired record, set in December 2011 as 734 dreidels were spun simultaneously for at least 10 seconds.



3. Largest display of Taoist statues
Here’s one for the collectors among us: If you can gather more than 4,643 Taoist statues in one place, you’ll break the record set by the Beigang Chao Tien Temple in Taiwan in September 2013.



4. Longest marathon church organ playing
Finger calisthenics are in order to top the record set by organist Jacqueline Sadler, who played hymns for 40 hours and 36 minutes straight in June 2011 at the Eastminster United Church in Toronto.



5. Largest gathering of people dressed as nuns
A charity fundraiser was the impetus behind Ireland’s “Nunday” in Listowel that set a record of 1,436 people dressed as nuns in a single gathering, in June 2012. It’s unclear whether this can become an, uh, annual habit.

Antisemitism 2015: A Global Challenge

Antisemitism 2015: A Global Challenge Antisemitism presents a serious challenge for the global community today. The last decade has seen a shocking growth in antisemitic rhetoric and agitation, and routine acts of violence against Jews have returned to European cities 70 years after the Holocaust.



The battle between Israel and the Palestinians has become intractable, and the idea of a "peace process" that might finally resolve the issues is not taken as seriously as it was years ago. This fact does not bode well for Israelis or Palestinians, and given the obsessive focus on this conflict by the media and by both pro-Palestinian and pro-Israel activist organizations, the lack of resolution and mounting frustration is an ongoing concern for all of us.



Today, we face a major impasse in our discussions about antisemitism: Where many Jews see a new or resurgent antisemitism, non-Jews are more likely to see political protest or a backlash against Israeli actions and policies. In truth, both characterizations can be accurate depending on the specific circumstance. Increasingly, however, this chasm in perception between Jews and non-Jews about the nature of antisemitism is widening, and it is one reason why there is a distinct lack of concern about the problem on the part of the world community today.



Along with news and debate about the conflicts in the Middle East, the Internet, satellite television, and social networking via cellphone allow people across the planet to share an enormous amount of explicit antisemitic material that is, quite frankly, poisoning the relationship between humanity and the Jewish people, making an intractable conflict even more difficult to resolve. This new reality is enormously threatening to a tiny people whose parents and grandparents survived being slated for extermination in Europe 70 years ago.



Antisemitic incitement breeds fear and anxiety in Jews and it destroys trust and goodwill, which makes authentic peacemaking between Jews and Arabs impossible. Anyone who claims to want to build peace between Jews and Arabs, especially those who want the Palestinians to build a positive peaceful future in their own state, should also commit to working against the problem of antisemitism and to help retard its growth, in the West and in the Arab and Islamic worlds. Antisemitism is one of the most serious impediments to peace in the Middle East, and that is why it should concern all of us.



Jews are an extremely small community of people on this planet, and non-Jewish attitudes and perceptions about Jews and Israel really do matter, especially in an increasingly globalized reality. In a world population of over 7 billion people, there are approximately 14 million Jews, and almost all of them live in only two countries: Israel and the United States. This means that Jews constitute 0.002 percent, or one fifth of one percent, of the entire human population on planet earth, which in turn means that while Jews know and interact with non-Jews, the vast majority of non-Jews will never meet a Jewish person. If this is our human reality, then what does it mean when 24 percent of the planet holds opinions deemed to be antisemitic, as reflected in the ADL's recent survey of 100 countries?



Obviously we have a phenomenon that is not based in reality or in actual human experience but is communicated and circulated through libel, rumor, mythology, and imagination, as it has been for 2,000 years. Given this, the new media presents a very significant challenge for those of us working to combat the lies and libels of antisemitism. Jewish existence is by necessity dependent upon, and determined by, relationships with the non-Jewish world. Antisemitism is a real and present danger to those relationships, and therefore it remains a threat to Jewish existence.



Our challenge for this new year is to clearly identify antisemitism as the conspiratorial and libelous phenomenon it in fact is so that people might consciously separate themselves from it and help mitigate the damage it does to Jews, their neighbors, and human societies.

Dear Chiara Natasha

Dear Chiara Natasha Note: If you know Chiara Natasha or anyone who might, please share this with her/them. According to news reports, the 15-year-old has lost her entire family in the recent AirAsia tragedy. Otherwise, please join me in praying for hope and comfort for Chiara, as well as everybody else who has been affected.





Dear Chiara,



My name is Karen, and I'm a 23-year-old Indonesian girl. I read about you in stories covering the recent AirAsia tragedy. My heart grew heavy as I learned that you have so suddenly lost the people I imagine had been closest to you. I was filled with an overwhelming urge to get in touch with you, but I didn't know how, so I started emailing the editors of Singaporean newspapers. But I realized I didn't want to waste any time. To people who aren't in deep pain, another day is just another few hours that invariably tick by. But for those in agony, time stalls and you find yourself in an abyss where past, present, and future meld together. And so I'm writing to you here, and I hope you see this. I don't have magic words or any big promises. To be honest, I don't know how I can help you, except to tell you that you are not alone. Maybe you have many strangers trying to reach you with a word of comfort right now, or maybe they, like me, don't know how. Maybe you will read this and you wouldn't be able to take me too seriously because I don't know your pain, but I just need to do something and I pray I can help in some way.



Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I am and will continue to pray for your father, your mother, as well as your brothers, Nico and Justin. I believe in a God whose love and mercy is unparalleled, and I pray that He, with the intercessions of the saints and angels, will lead your family members' souls to heaven. And I know I'm not the only one praying for them.



I don't know much about you other than the few details I could find in those articles. If I gather correctly, you are an Indonesian studying in Singapore. If so, we have at least one thing in common. I was also born and raised in Indonesia. In 1998, my parents sent me and my older sister to Singapore to get a better education. We lived apart from the rest of our family for quite a while, before they were able to join us more regularly when our youngest sister got older. Between then and now, we've relied on airplanes to take either our parents to Singapore, or us to Indonesia. Once or twice I've imagined the possibility of a disaster, but never too seriously. Words cannot express how sorry I am that this has happened to you. As I thought about you, I couldn't imagine anyone feeling more alone than you must have felt when you received the news. But at the same time, I also thought, wow, that this girl is somewhere out there right now, wow, she is strong.



Dear Chiara, I don't know your pain, and I don't know your fears. All I can offer is any empathy or insight that could come from having been clinically depressed a few times in my life. Each time, reality and facts would become so distorted in my mind that I believed with every fiber of my being that I was alone, and that I had nothing left. I pulled through with the unsolicited help of some very unexpected people in my life. For example, a friend of my ex-boyfriend's parents reached out to me and became a listening ear and a constant source of support. Who would have thought? Well, God intervenes in our lives in very unexpected ways. Dear Chiara, I hope during this time you will be open to even the most unexpected sources of support. Dear Chiara, this must sound most contrived, but how I wish I could give you a hug.



I am and will continue to pray for you, my sister. Many things may not make sense right now, but have hope in a God who knows and sees more than we do. Where we see no open doors, He sees one that we don't even know exists. You are very strong, and you are very loved.



Chiara, please feel free to contact me anytime at all. You can email me at karen.zainal@gmail.com.



With love,

Karen



This letter was originally published on Under Reconstruction.

Belgian Catholic Bishop Calls For Recognition Of Same-Sex Relationships

Belgian Catholic Bishop Calls For Recognition Of Same-Sex Relationships A Belgian bishop is bravely standing up for love.



Bishop Johan Bonny of Antwerp, Belgium has called on the Catholic Church to recognize the caring and committed relationships of gay and lesbian couples around the world.



Bonny made the remarks in a December 27 interview with the Belgian newspaper De Morgen. He pointed out that just as civil society recognizes that there are several different ways that people can be partnered for life, the church should also recognize that relationships come in a “diversity of forms.”



"We have to look inside the church for a formal recognition of the kind of interpersonal relationship that is also present in many gay couples,” the bishop said, according to a translation provided by the National Catholic Reporter. “The intrinsic values are more important to me than the institutional question. The Christian ethic is based on lasting relationships where exclusivity, loyalty, and care are central to each other."



Bonny said that heterosexual relationships still hold a “particular sacramental character” within the church. But he doesn’t think that the conversation should end there.



“This particularity does not have to be exclusive nor does it have to close the door on a diversity of relationships whose inner qualities the church can acknowledge,” he said.



“Personally, I find that in the church more space must be given to acknowledge the actual quality of gay and lesbian couples; and such a form of shared-life should meet the same criteria as found in an ecclesiastical marriage,” he said. “…And we have to acknowledge that such criteria can be found in a diversity of relationships and one needs to search for various models to give form to those relationships.”



Rev. James Martin, a Jesuit priest and editor at large of America magazine, cautioned that Bonny is not calling for the Catholic church to start performing same-sex marriages. Rather, he seems to be inviting the church to realize that gay unions have positive qualities that the church can recognize and perhaps even bless.

His comments recall the initial report from the Synod on the Family, which said that committed gay relationships have "gifts and talents" to offer the Christian community. (That language was removed from the final report.) So we shouldn't overemphasize what Bishop Bonny is saying: after all, he's only one bishop. On the other hand, we shouldn't underemphasize it either: it's quite revolutionary.

This isn’t the first time Bonny has expressed a desire for a more openness towards same-sex couples. Prior to the October’s Synod of the Bishops, Bonny penned a letter to the Vatican urging the church to come to terms with the reality on the ground -- that modern believers are “no longer able to agree with the dogmatic texts and moral statements coming from Rome.” He insisted that this discord on matters like relationships, sexuality, marriage, and the family has grown over time. As a solution, he put forward the examples given by Jesus and his disciples.

They were close to people . . . They were free and they brought joy; they welcomed the lost and the condemned back into the centre of the circle; they called for compassion and forgiveness; they rejected every use of power and violence; they preferred to take the last place and they believed in the power of love, a love that does not count on reward.

Pope Francis’ willingness to engage with previously taboo topics has given him courage to speak up, NCR reports.



New Ways Ministry, an organization that seeks to build bridges between the LGBT community and the Catholic Church, strongly applauded Bonny’s call for the ecclesiastical recognition of same-gender couples.



“Bishop Bonny’s statements will have a profound effect on this discussion because he is raising an idea which has too long been suppressed, but which many in the Church have desired. He gives voice to a major segment of Catholicism which has previously been voiceless,” executive director Francis DeBernardo said in a statement. “Courage breeds courage. Let’s pray that other bishops will follow Bishop Bonny’s example and speak out for recognizing the holiness in the committed relationships of lesbian and gay couples.”

Forget Resolutions, Visualize 2015

Forget Resolutions, Visualize 2015 Whether you are religious, spiritual or agnostic, the holidays can inspire a rebirth of our spirits as we look towards the new year. The cultural fad of making resolutions leads to a myriad of responses, and outcomes, few that go beyond hail Mary hopes and dart board dreams that have no root in reality.



Arianna Huffington and Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra are among those who talk about the power of tapping meditative energy, which has far more potential than resolutions.



Visualize the life you want to lead.



Hold the first image as a snapshot. Click on it to unleash the mini movie of your life to see what frames come next. Edit out what has never worked before, the inauthentic, replacing a rejected frame with one that resonates more deeply, because you can sense the properties of making it manifest.



Replay your new visualization, imagining through your mind that you can attract, create and start imprinting what you want for yourself in your brain as code that sticks.



Close your eyes and run it again.



It's not enough to dream.



How do you react to the video playing across your brain? How does it make you feel? If happiness isn't a component, scrap your visualization and begin again.



Ask yourself why your initial visualizations didn't bring you joy. Was it a compilation of what others want for you? Was it unrealistic and loaded down with the prospect of way too much effort to make your life enjoyable? Did your visualizations seem impossible to manifest?



Your deadline isn't Jan. 1, 2015, which is the beginning of this process.



Embrace that being happy on the way to getting what you want is a catalyst to creation. Spending your days in dreary duty of paying the bills will not help you manifest your heart's desire unless you also appreciate that your every day work is only a temporary passage to get where you want to go. You're not stuck, you're doing what it takes. But to manifest something beyond your daily work life you also must play instigator to your own liberation.



Resolutions won't get you there.



Visualizations ride on the magic carpet of intentions. They begin where you are right now. They inspire you to formulate a pathway to the next step of getting what you want. It's all predicated on energy that is inspirational, electrically charged with hope, while being grounded in the knowledge that what you're visualizing is true to who you are and not what someone else wants for you or expects of you.



That means that if there are people in your life pushing you in a direction that doesn't resonate you must distance yourself from their input and coercive influences, because they are drowning out your voice, even if they have the best of intentions.



Resolutions more often shadow us, mocking our efforts to take flight at the moment the New Year opens up opportunities to set us free from the past.



When we fail at living up to our resolutions the trail is lost.



Visualizations are alive. They aren't part of a static, numbered or ordered list.



Resolutions are rules to follow.



Visualizations are our instincts seen as a map. Sure, we'll get lost at times, but the route remains, because it's formulated from our heart's desires, which never abandons us.



Resolutions are like pills, things prescribed, but which inevitably smack up against an expiration date, even if we don't acknowledge the date they disappear.



Visualizations are predicated on passion. The one thing we always return to in yearning, because it's the one thing we need to thrive and be happy, the most important things in life that lead to where instinct lives and intentions manifest.



Striving to accomplish, whether it's through resolutions or goals, clutters passageways where attraction flows.



Visualize the life you want. Play it over and over again until signs start showing up that you're telling the story of the life you want. You can edit what's playing in your mind, but don't ever give up.



What you've created is a meditation for happiness and purpose that won't ever expire.



Taylor Marsh is an author and speaker living outside Washington, D.C. She is the author of The Hillary Effect, with her latest book on relationships and getting what you want titled, The Sexual Education of a Beauty Queen -- Relationship Secrets from the Trenches.

Laverne Cox Bares Cleavage in Red One-Piece Swimsuit: Picture

Laverne Cox Bares Cleavage in Red One-Piece Swimsuit: Picture Orange Is the New Black actress and transgender activist Laverne Cox bared her cleavage in a sexy one-piece swimsuit on Tuesday, Dec. 30 -- see the Instagram photo

This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Laverne Cox Bares Cleavage in Red One-Piece Swimsuit: Picture

Laverne Cox Bares Cleavage in Red One-Piece Swimsuit: Picture

Laverne Cox Bares Cleavage in Red One-Piece Swimsuit: Picture Orange Is the New Black actress and transgender activist Laverne Cox bared her cleavage in a sexy one-piece swimsuit on Tuesday, Dec. 30 -- see the Instagram photo

This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Laverne Cox Bares Cleavage in Red One-Piece Swimsuit: Picture

Busy Philipps, BFF Michelle Williams Vacation Together for NYE: Instagram Photos

Busy Philipps, BFF Michelle Williams Vacation Together for NYE: Instagram Photos Busy Philipps and Michelle Williams are celebrating NYE together -- see their cute vacation photos

This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Busy Philipps, BFF Michelle Williams Vacation Together for NYE: Instagram Photos

Busy Philipps, BFF Michelle Williams Vacation Together for NYE: Instagram Photos

Busy Philipps, BFF Michelle Williams Vacation Together for NYE: Instagram Photos Busy Philipps and Michelle Williams are celebrating NYE together -- see their cute vacation photos

This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Busy Philipps, BFF Michelle Williams Vacation Together for NYE: Instagram Photos

Enjoying 'Enjoy Yourself' at 65

Enjoying 'Enjoy Yourself' at 65 New Year's Eve gets a bad rap, but I look forward to it because of a special kinship with a certain song.



The first time I heard "Enjoy Yourself (It's Later Than You Think)" I hadn't been born yet. Neither had the song. We were gestating -- me in my mom's womb, the song in a telephone wire.



In 1948, from my folks' apartment on Manhattan's East Side, my dad, Carl Sigman, wrote "Enjoy Yourself" over the phone with L.A.-based songwriter Herb Magidson. In other words, he wrote it transcontinentally with the writer of "The Continental."







"Enjoy Yourself" and I were both released in '49 and so we're practically twins. Not identical twins, though. Unlike you and me, the song is immortal. It will never not exist. If no one sings it for a thousand years, it will still be there, waiting with perfect serenity for some future being to caterwaul it in the shower.



Immortality is nice, but there's more to eternal life than mere survival. In the Darwinian quest for standard-hood, evolution is a must!



If my life began with a big bang, "Enjoy Yourself" began with the Big Bands, most notably recordings by Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra and Guy Lombardo and His Royal Canadians (vocals by Kenny Gardner). Lombardo's iteration was a Top 10 smash and he made the number a New Year's Eve staple by performing it year after year at NYC's Roosevelt Hotel. Covers by Bing Crosby, Doris Day, and Eddie Cantor peppered our early childhood.







By the time Louis Prima put his zany imprimatur on "Enjoy Yourself" later in the '50s, we -- the song and I, that is -- were old enough to know how cool it was that my parents first met in Louis's office in the Brill Building, and that in a way we owed our very existence to the inimitable Mr. P.



In 1967, I went off to college and became an alienated hippy radical who enjoyed not enjoying myself. I wasn't interested in hearing about one comfortable white guy telling another comfortable white guy to eat, drink and be merry before he kicks the bucket. How exactly does a napalmed Vietnamese mother or a starving Appalachian orphan decide to enjoy themselves?



I conveniently forgot that earlier in the '60s, ska master Prince Buster had reimagined "Enjoy Yourself," syncopating the beat and singing, "Get wisdom, knowledge and understanding."



After college, I immersed myself in all kinds of pop music and my attitude towards "Enjoy Yourself" shifted once again. I loved hearing Der Bingle croon a bit of it with Dino on TV and heard the Doris Day recording with new ears. My mom reminded me that "Enjoy Yourself (It's Later Than You Think)" was a Chinese proverb and I wondered if the song was less about hedonism than about living in the present moment. If we don't, it'll be way later than we think.







The hundreds, perhaps thousands of professionally recorded versions of "Enjoy Yourself" -- the Specials, the Supremes , Jimmy Witherspoon, Todd Snider, Jim Kweskin, Wingless Angels, Jools Holland , Larry Chesky Orchestra, Johnny Clarysse, Enoch Light et al -- are a speck of dust among the millions of private recordings and performances from karaoke bars to YouTubes to living rooms to New Year's bashes.



Add to that the countless times we've heard it in our heads or sung it to ourselves or to others. (One YouTube commenter writes, "My Gran sang this song every time I saw her for nearly 40 years and we'll be playing it at her funeral next week"; the one and only time I met Michael Buble, he didn't say "Hi," he sang a few bars of "Enjoy Yourself.")



Before we turned 65 last year, "Enjoy Yourself" and I got together to discuss that milestone. Which is to say, "Enjoy Yourself" spoke and I listened.



The song said, "Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think/Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink/The years go by, as quickly as a wink/Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself it's later than you think."



I'd like to think that as long as there's a New Year's Eve, there will be a place for "Enjoy Yourself."



(Portions of this blog appeared last December.)

A New Year's Manifesto

New Years Resolution? Just Be a Mom

New Years Resolution? Just Be a Mom Whether you are a mom or just have a mom, you know that all mothers have flaws. No matter how hard we try, we just can't be perfect.



Sure, there's that one mom from the PTA meetings who seems perfect. But rumor has it that she flipped out last week in Target when her toddler decided to remove his diaper and run full-speed past the checkout lines.



On a crowded Saturday. There may have been bribes and tears involved.



So while most days begin on a good note, things can take a turn at any moment. Take a few minutes too long in the bathroom when you have a crawling infant and you may find your potted plant has been un-potted.



On the carpet.



Babies teethe, blow out diapers, and don't sleep when you need them to. Toddlers rip pages from favorite books, overturn coffee mugs (wasting precious caffeine), throw epic tantrums and terrorize pets. Older children bicker with siblings, whine, miss their carpool pick up, roll their eyes at you, whine some more, make extreme messes, flunk tests, leave laundry on the floor and argue with you about it all.



Most of these things on their own aren't so major. But combine a few, and even the best of us might blow our tops once in a while. We may yell a little bit, say something we don't mean, send someone to their room, or simply grunt and clench our fists in frustration.



Then the mommy guilt sets in. We set such high standards for ourselves that when the inevitable scolding/yelling/sending the kids out of the room/morphing into The Hulk happens we immediately go to that place inside that labels us as a bad mom.



These are the episodes of parenting that have led to many a spirited playgroup discussion. We lay our mommy indiscretions at the feet of our friends, looking for redemption and hoping they've done the same things we have done. That when the going got tough, they didn't find some inner mommy strength that instantly changed the course of the afternoon, a strength that has eluded us for the most part.



But today, I am going to let you in on a little secret: A secret that may change the way you look at those wee little ones, those unruly but adorable toddlers, and those sulk, eye-rolling teens.



Our biggest cheerleaders may not be our other mommy friends.



A mom's biggest cheerleaders are her children.



The very children who say we are the meanest mommy ever, who roll their eyes when we ask them to clean their rooms and who want nothing to do with us when we shop together at the mall. Children who most certainly think they are being reared by the meanest parents ever. The kids who yell that they hate us or slam doors in disgust while protesting that we are "ruining their lives."



They are the ones who want us to succeed the most.



That's the power of motherhood. These little pieces of our heart walking around in dirty socks with messy hair and runny noses really, really love us. And they want us to do a good job.



I used to work with young children who are at risk for difficulties with school adjustment. Each year, I would have at least a handful of students who have experienced firsthand some of the worst mistakes a mom can make: drug or alcohol abuse, incarceration, neglect, verbal or physical abuse.



And without fail, time and time again, these little children still put their mothers on a pedestal. Because they want them to succeed at being a mom. Their very being depends on it.



They draw pictures of their beautiful, smart mommies. They create visions of what their life will be like when mommy comes home or brings them back to live with her. They gloss over details they don't know I am aware of, creating excuses for their moms who have taken a path not consistent with motherhood.



And yet, these children sit in the imaginary grandstands cheering their mothers on.



We are, most of the time, someone our children can count on. Whether it's a peanut-butter sandwich in a lunchbox, a hug after a fight with a friend, or someone to check spelling homework: mom is there.



So even when she's not consistent, not physically or mentally able, or not even particularly interested in being a mom, her children are still her biggest cheerleaders. They want their mommy to succeed.



So the next time you yell at your little one because she spilled milk for the tenth time or send your teenager to his room for being surly and the guilt sets in, remember this.



Without fail, these little ones are your biggest fans.



They expect you to make mistakes, they accept your apologies, and love you in spite of it all.



Even if their facial expressions and eye rolls don't show it.

China and the US: A New Century, a New Partnership

China and the US: A New Century, a New Partnership I have spent a good deal of time in China and have traveled throughout the country. I am always amazed at the hospitality and welcoming spirit of the Chinese people. As an educational institution, Benedictine has built programs throughout China on one underlying assumption -- if there is to be peace in the 21st century, China and the United States must become partners. My sense from engaging many levels of Chinese society is that China does not want an aggressive relationship with the United States; it wants to forge a partnership of mutual respect and opportunity. If China and the USA are partners in the 21st century, I firmly believe that peace will reign and humankind will flourish. I shudder to think of the alternative.



My very strong sense is that China does not want to conquer the world; it wants to secure its borders and live in peace -- as does the United States. Our number one problem is that the USA and China do not know one another. Our old ways of viewing one another are remnants of the Cold War. A new century requires a new way of looking at one another. We must move away quickly from viewing one another as potential enemies to a view that as friends there is no problem we cannot solve.



How do we get America and China to recognize each other as respected partners and not potential aggressors -- through education! When we exchange faculty, courses, and students and when we build strong educational programs together -- we become friends! Government officials are not in the best position to develop friendships when they are charged with enforcing policies. Our students -- in the classroom, in mutual visitation of campuses, in joint research projects, in simple interaction -- become friends for life.



As I have said, I am convinced that the Chinese do not want an aggressive relationship with the USA. Part of the problem is that the United States continues to view China as if the Cultural Revolution was still unfolding and is a potential foe; another part of the problem is that the Chinese do not market themselves well. The 2008 Olympics forged an amazing marketing effort by the Chinese to open the country to the outside world. I still have on my computer the song "Beijing Welcomes You."



What happened to that marketing after the Olympics? Our countries still do not know one another, which does not bode well for the 21st century. Both countries need to take a "timeout" and learn about one another.



We need to build a platform for a long-term U.S./China partnership. This can be done through our educational institutions partnering in new and exciting ways. Through education, Chinese and Americans get to know one another at a very young age and can become close lifetime friends. In educational activities, we share, work, and solve problems. This same ability will transfer to the world's stage when our students become tomorrow's leaders. As a result it is very hard to view your friend as the aggressor.

Promise Me Humanity

Promise Me Humanity So this is the day, the last of days. Three hundred and sixty-five days of protests, lay-ins, new laws, broken laws, innocent jailing, pride, nationalism, fear and hope. This day, without failure, wipes the windshield of mud and dirt, eternally with the promise of change. There lays the golden box of opportunity, a time to reinvent, restructure and rebuild. Imagine the pressure this one day must feel, having to live up to millions of expectations as the day to strip oneself of old habits, bad habits and start anew.



We are one human race. I have eyes that see, sometimes with lenses and sometimes without. I have feet that step up stairs and sometimes down. You have a heart that feels and a mind that wanders. But imaginary lines, sometimes even walls, and beliefs in this world and in what may happen next somehow strip us of our brotherhood.



I deserve an education and you do not. She must tirelessly labor but still not provide food for her family. He is not allowed justice because of the color of his skin. She belongs at home. He must act like a 'man'.



I feel the same amount the pain as you. Your mind, your wandering mind, craves just the same amount of knowledge as mine. If stripped of these crusty, old ways, would we, could we fall in love?



But tomorrow, we start anew. Walls will become transparent, I will welcome you into my home. Your uniform will represent safety, but also trust. You see me and my people, my family and my community as your own. Each and every being is born very different, yet the same. You will nurture and cherish what makes you and I and him and her so beautifully, artistically, almost painfully distinctive.



With it all gone, every last drop of him versus her, we versus them, laws that separate, people that discriminate, in the absence of pain, we will in turn feel pleasure?



Don't promise me hope without forgiveness and equality without action. Why does each year end every, single time giving us the chance to start over? I can tell you, for sure, it is not so that we have the second chance to hurt or another round of revenge. We give way to tomorrow for mending, bettering ourselves and those around us.



Just one last thing, on this new day, promise me humanity.

From Pot to Protests: 10 Ways Colorado Made History in 2014

From Pot to Protests: 10 Ways Colorado Made History in 2014 History was made on the very first day of 2014, when Colorado became the first state in the country to have legal retail marijuana sales, but that was only the beginning of a transformative year for civil liberties in this state. The year was marked by historic changes on issues from marriage equality to solitary confinement reform, and it ended with Colorado students taking to the streets, forcing a dialogue about race and police practices.



Here are 10 landmark civil liberties victories from 2014:



1. Marijuana Legalization Implemented. On January 1, 2014, implementation began for Amendment 64, allowing legal sale and possession of small amounts of marijuana under Colorado law. Colorado's example has been watched by other states, helping to put a dent in the costly and ineffective "War on Drugs."



2. Marriage Equality Achieved. Twenty years after the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the discriminatory Amendment 2, which had once earned our state a national reputation as a "hate state," Colorado now has full marriage equality and all loving couples can now legally get married.



3. Police Practices Put Under the Spotlight. National attention on police killings of young black men was amplified in Colorado by multiple settlements and judgments against Denver Police and the Denver Sheriff Department, including a $6 million settlement in the case of Marvin Booker, a 56-year-old man who died at the hands of four sheriff's deputies at the Denver Jail in 2010.



4. Solitary Confinement Curtailed. The Colorado legislature passed a landmark new law prohibited the cruel, inhumane, and costly practice of warehousing of prisoners with serious mental illness in solitary confinement. The overall solitary confinement population in Colorado prisons has dropped to about 200 from over 1700 three years ago.



5. Women's Reproductive Rights Protected. Colorado voters once again rejected the dangerous and extreme fetal personhood amendment. Despite the use of deceptive language intended to trick voters, Amendment 67, which would have banned all abortions and restricted access to birth control, failed by a 65% to 35% margin.



6. Student Activism Renewed. 2014 saw the highest level of high school student protests in Colorado in many years, from Jefferson County students protesting right-wing religious attacks on school curricula to dozens of student protests against police brutality and racial bias.



7. Debtors' Prisons Stopped. The Colorado legislature put an end to the unconstitutional practice of putting Coloradans in jail because they were too poor to pay legal fines and court fees.



8. Governor Hickenlooper Takes Stance Against the Death Penalty. Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper officially expressed his opposition to the death penalty, calling it expensive, unequal, and ineffective as a deterrent to crime.



9. Illegal Immigration Detainers Ended. Based on ACLU legal analysis and advocacy, sheriffs in all Colorado counties agreed to end the illegal practice of holding people in jail beyond their release time at the request of federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).



10. Discrimination in the Name of Religion Rebuffed. Colorado courts ruled that discrimination by Masterpiece Cakeshop against LGBT customers violated public accommodation laws, and the legislature rejected all efforts to allow discrimination in the name of religion.



Many more challenges lie ahead for social justice and civil liberties in 2015 on a host of issues including race and justice, the criminalization of homelessness, surveillance and national security, incarceration rates, religious and academic freedom, voting rights, equal protection, and women's rights. There is still much more work to be done to achieve the freedoms and protections promised in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, but 2014 proved that change is possible when enough people speak out and fight for it.

We Can Make a Difference for Our Planet After All: 10 Wildlife Conservation Victory Stories from 2014

We Can Make a Difference for Our Planet After All: 10 Wildlife Conservation Victory Stories from 2014 We cannot ignore the realities of habitat loss for wildlife, the extinction crisis, and the impact climate change has on nature; but equally as important, we should not forget the good news and the victories through conservation action.



When we remember the victories, we find hope that gives us the strength and resolve to keep working. With that in mind, here are 10 "good news" conservation stories from 2014. Some you may have heard of; some are new. But they all should inspire us to power on for nature in 2015:







A pair of bottlenose dolphins in the waters of Gabon's Mayumba National Park, part of a new system of marine national parks that will protect 23 percent of Gabon's territorial waters. Photo by ©Peadar Brehony.



1. Good News for Oceans

There were a handful of important proclamations that meant good news for our oceans. President Obama created the world's largest fully protected marine reserve in the central Pacific Ocean by expanding the Pacific Remote Islands National Marine Monument from 87,000 square miles to more than 490,000 square miles; the Government of Gabon announced the decision to create a new marine protected area network of ten marine parks covering more than 18,000 square miles; and the Government of Bangladesh created the country's first marine protected area, which will now safeguard whales, dolphins, sea turtles, sharks, and other oceanic species.







A WCS team in Nicaragua reports a dramatic increase in nesting of critically endangered hawksbill sea turtles in the Pearl Cays region, including the highest nest counts since a conservation project began there in 2000. Photo credit: © WCS



2. Victories for Turtles, Sharks and Rays

In Nicaragua, there was a dramatic increase in nesting of critically endangered hawksbill sea turtles, including the highest nest counts since a conservation project began there in 2000. The total nest count for hawksbill turtles in the project area in Nicaragua's Pearl Cays region increased some 200 percent from 154 in 2000 to 468 in 2014. In Brazil, biologists seeking to learn more about threatened and endangered turtles in the Abufari Biological Reserve hit the mother lode--a mass hatching event producing an estimated 210,000 baby turtles. In Ecuador, conservationists rejoiced at the listing of 21 species of sharks and rays under the Appendices of the Convention on Migratory Species (CMS), made official in the final plenary session of the Conference of Parties (CoP). With these listings, member countries agreed to grant strict protection to the reef manta, all nine devil rays, and all five sawfishes, and committed to work internationally to conserve the three species of thresher sharks, two types of hammerheads, and the silky shark. In Indonesia, the government took a major step to protect the world's largest ray species, the giant and reef manta rays.







In India, our program reports an estimated 400-plus tigers in the Malenad landscape, with numbers increasing due to great partnerships in and out of the government. Photo by ©Kalyan Varma.



3. Achieving Positive Impact on Tiger Numbers in Thailand and India

As a result of 10 years of continuous conservation efforts in Huai Kha Khaeng (HKK), Thailand, the 2013-14 season is revealing an increase in the tiger population and an expansion of tiger distribution in the landscape. In 2013, the mean abundance of tigers showed the average tiger estimate in HKK to be 50 percent higher than in 2007. Also exciting is that tigers have dispersed from HKK into national parks and wildlife sanctuaries to the north, west, and south of the protected area. These results give us reason to believe that maintaining protection in this area will make it possible for tigers and other wildlife to continue to disperse and repopulate the rest of the Western Forest Complex. And in India, our program reports an estimated 400-plus tigers in the Malenad landscape, with numbers increasing due to great partnerships in and out of the government.







Karukinka's intact forests and peatlands are estimated to sequester more than 300 million tons of carbon annually. Photo by Daniela Droguett ©WCS.








4. A Successful Partnership in Chile

In Chile, 10 years after Goldman Sachs and WCS announced one of the largest gifts of private lands ever given for conservation, Chile's Karukinka Natural Park celebrated a decade of accomplishments, from conservation science, to wildlife and habitat protection, to public education and engagement. Karukinka protects the world's southernmost stands of old growth forests as well as grasslands, rivers, and wetlands. Its intact forests and peatlands are estimated to sequester more than 300 million tons of carbon annually.







Bonnet Plume Lake, Peel Watershed. Photo ©Don Reid.





5. Important Protections in the United States and Canada

The passage of the National Defense Authorization Act will help safeguard two critically important wild lands in Montana and the iconic wildlife that lives within them--the Rocky Mountain Front and the North Fork of the Flathead River. This action will provide new protection for 275,000 acres of the Rocky Mountain Front and prohibit industrial development on another 430,000 acres bordering Canada. Also, in Canada, the Peel River Court decision ruled in favor of First Nations and conservation so that the plan to protect 80% of the 67,000 square kilometer area (more than 7 times bigger than Yellowstone National Park) of de facto wilderness area was reinstated. In Alaska, President Obama blocked Alaska's Bristol Bay from oil development--ending a multi-year stand-off between development and conservation.







Native groups from the U.S. and Canada joined in September to support restoration of bison; renew cultural and spiritual ties

Photo by Julie Larsen Maher ©WCS





6. Renewing a Commitment to the American Bison

In the U.S. and Canada, dignitaries from U.S. Tribes and Canadian First Nations signed a treaty--the first among them in more than 150 years--to establish inter-tribal alliances for cooperation in the restoration of American buffalo (or bison) on Tribal/First Nations Reserves or co-managed lands within the U.S. and Canada.







The Wakhan National Park, with its beautiful alpine grasslands and craggy mountains, will provide protection for Afghanistan's rare and vulnerable wildlife. Photo ©WCS Afghanistan.





7. Conservation Success in the Midst of Conflict

In Afghanistan, the government established the entire Wakhan District, one of the most remote areas of Afghanistan, as the nation's second national park. The Wakhan National Park, with its beautiful alpine grasslands and craggy mountains, will provide protection for Afghanistan's rare and vulnerable wildlife such as the snow leopard, Marco Polo sheep, lynx, Himalayan ibex and urial. Also in Afghanistan, WCS conservationists reported seeing Kashmir musk deer, categorized as Endangered by IUCN, for the first time there since 1948.





A wild elephant pictured in 2010. Photo by Julie Larsen Maher ©WCS





8. Some positive news on the elephant front

The Obama Administration issued the National Strategy for Combating Wildlife Trafficking and the issuance of a ban on trade in elephant ivory; New York State and New Jersey passed legislation to ban the sale of ivory, and in China, the government destroyed ivory and other wildlife products confiscated from illegal trade at a public ceremony in the city of Guangzhou, Guangdong Province. And a host of powerhouses kept momentum building on behalf of elephants: Hillary Clinton and Chelsea Clinton continued to engage the Clinton Global Initiative on behalf of elephants; the Duke of Cambridge continued his work to stop trafficking of all illegal wildlife and inspire a new generation of conservationists with United for Wildlife; the London Declaration on Illegal Wildlife Trade sent a strong message across the globe that wildlife trafficking is a serious crime, on a global scale; and the European Parliament took powerful action against illegal elephant killing through the passage of a groundbreaking resolution on wildlife trafficking that calls for moratoria on ivory trade and other measures against wildlife crime.







A southern elephant seal colony on Argentina's Patagonia coast. Peninsula Valdes -- teeming with wildlife including southern right whales, Magellanic penguins, massive elephant seals, flightless Darwin's rheas, and camel-like guanacos -- was declared a Biosphere Reserve by (UNESCO) this year. Photo by Cristián Samper ©WCS.





9. An Important Step in Patagonia

Argentina's Peninsula Valdes -- teeming with wildlife including southern right whales, Magellanic penguins, massive elephant seals, flightless Darwin's rheas, and camel-like guanacos -- was declared a Biosphere Reserve by the United Nations Environmental, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO). The reserve spans 4 million acres and increases legal protection for wildlife on the peninsula and in adjacent coastal waters.









Humpback whales have been seen in growing numbers in the New York Bight, a wedge of water between the New York and New Jersey coasts. Photo by Julie Larsen Maher © WCS



10. And Closer to Home...

One of the most hopeful images this year in conservation was taken by our own WCS staff photographer, Julie Larsen Maher, who captured pictures of a humpback whale just a few miles from New York City. In 2014, there was a major increase in reports of whales feeding within sight of the skyline of our city. And just this week, WCS announced a joint venture with Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI) to protect these whales in the New York Bight using new real-time monitoring technology, a program supported by the G. Unger Vetlesen Foundation.



The photograph of that whale in NYC waters and all the stories outlined above should give us hope and determination to not give up on our efforts for nature. A New Year's resolution for all of us: To remember that we can make a difference for our planet.